Although Easter is arguably the most important holiday on the Christian calendar, the heathens at K&K have to admit we’ve never been overly jazzed about it. Maybe it’s because we weren’t raised in a religious household or maybe it’s because we’ve always found baked ham and Cadbury Eggs kind of gross. Or maybe we are just insensitive and ill informed. Whatever the case, we won’t be marking the crucifixion and subsequent resurrection of Christ this weekend apart from enjoying a much-needed three-day weekend. Not that we have anything against Easter or those who treat it with great reverence. But if K&K is going to celebrate the resurrection of anything, it’s going to be for the following items:
• Our Grade 12 waistline. Never let it be said that playing dodge ball in PE class every other day isn’t good for anything. It’s good for your body. Amen.
• Super Socco. Seriously, why hasn’t some marketing genius realized there is a huge demand for these 1980s-era tetra packs of sugary fruit-flavoured goodness. We’d buy a few dozen crates on our own.
• The Littlest Hobo. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll stop and settle down, but until then will be pining for a Hollywood remake of this Canadian television classic about a nomadic German shepherd with a penchant for solving small town crimes and rescuing hapless folks from house fires. Quick, somebody get Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn on the phone.
• Mitsou’s music career. The beguiling Quebecoise chanteuse behind “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” has shifted into radio and television these past few decades, but we’d rather see her in a cowboy hat singing in French. The way God intended.
• Our pugnacity, testosterone truculence and belligerence. We don’t know if we even had these in the first place, but if they’re good enough for the Toronto Maple Leafs and former GM Brian Burke, they’re good enough for us. We could also use a little joie de vivre, je ne sais quoi and rock hard abs while we’re at it.
